6 Weeks To Healing Relationship Anxiety

Lesson 1

Understanding and Identifying People With Avoidant Attachment

• Learn what causes avoidant attachment and the myths around avoidants.
•  Know the difference between an Avoidant who's not ready vs. someone with Avoidant tendencies that may be ready for a relationship.
• Understand your role in the anxious-avoidant dance and learn how to create meaningful change in the relationship.
• Find out if your relationship has the potential to transform into a Conscious Relationship or not.
• Tips for if you find yourself dating or in a relationship with an avoidant.
•  'Relationship Health' Checkup. A checklist and journaling prompts to help determine the health of your relationship.

Lesson 2

Healing Anxious Attachment and Becoming Secure

• Learn what causes Anxious attachment
• Know the difference between Anxiety fueled by Red Flags, your intuition telling you to pay attention, and relationship anxiety in a healthy and safe relationship
• Learn what makes a person secure, and discover tools to begin working towards embodying secure attachment in your relationships

Lesson 3

Managing Anxiety During Dating and In New or Long Term Relationships

• Self care commitments and how to prioritize your mental wellness while healing attachment wounds.
•  A somatic approach to setting boundaries.
• Communication prompts to help you bring your truth to the table in new or long-term relationships.
• How to have a clearing: a simple script outline to use with a partner to talk about hard things.

Lesson 4

Ending the Chase and Interrupting Self Sabotage

• How to reality check yourself in the midst of feeling anxious.
• Understand and end self-sabotage behaviours.
• Discover strategies and tools for when anxious attachment is triggered.

Lesson 5

Healing the Trust Wound

• A powerful process to understand and identify the origins of your trust wound.
•  How to process anger and move toward forgiveness & acceptance.
• Inner-child work and reparenting.
• Building sacred trust with yourself.

Lesson 6

Reality Checking: Knowing the Difference Between Anxiety, Fear and Intuition

• Clarifying your feelings and needs and maintaining your truth in a relationship.
• A simple process for deciphering between anxiety, fear and intuition so you can learn how to trust yourself more fully.
• How to communicate when you’re feeling something is off in the relationship. 
•  Understanding shadow figures and how they play a role in your present relational struggles.

How The Program Works 

What Does It Mean to Rewire Your Nervous System?

Breaking free from painful relationship patterns requires more than just mindset work. These patterns live in your nervous system—your body’s "hard drive, " which holds memories of past experiences..

The somatic work and self-soothing tools you’ll get in this program will help you release those old fear responses and teach your body that healthy, secure love is safe.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

• How to Reconnect with Your Body’s Wisdom: Learn to identify subtle signals your body sends—like tension in your chest or tightness in your shoulders—that reveal when your nervous system is stuck in an old fear response.
• The Science of Creating Safety: Explore simple, proven methods to show your body it’s safe to let go of past fears and embrace the present moment with calm and confidence.
• The Power of Practice to Rewire Your Patterns: Discover how consistent, small shifts retrain your nervous system over time, building healthier pathways that support ease, trust, and deep connection in your relationships.

Meet Your Guide 

Hi, I’m Sheleana Aiyana, international best selling author and founder of Rising Woman—a community of over three million people seeking to heal their relationship wounds, expand self-awareness, and reclaim their true nature.

I want to share a bit about my journey with Relationship Anxiety and the path that led me here…

People often see my life now—running a transformational company for women, living on ten acres in the forest with my family, surrounded by community, and in a secure loving partnership with my husband Ben—and assume it’s always been this way.

But the truth is, I had to fight for this life and heal my trauma from childhood to arrive here…

My early years were filled with pain and heartache. I spent much of my childhood in and out of foster homes, as my mother, battling her own trauma and addiction, wasn’t able to be there for me. I never met my father.

I was a sensitive and imaginative little girl, but with every drop-off at a new foster home, and every betrayal, the walls around my heart grew thicker.

I became guarded and fiercely independent, slowly disconnecting from my true self.

But deep down, I just wanted to be loved.

As I grew older, I was in constant pursuit of someone to choose me, rushing in and playing house with every man I’d meet. I’d give myself away quickly, play whatever role I thought would win their love, and abandon my own interests or plans the moment they’d call.

I self-abandoned because that’s what I knew. And without fail, the echoes of my past kept showing up in the form of anxious-avoidant, abusive and chaotic relationship patterns.

I went from dating men who were exciting but avoidant or abusive to choosing safe, “boring” partners who didn’t challenge me. It was like I was always searching for something I couldn’t find.

After I was deeply betrayed by the “safe” man I married, I was heartbroken…

As I watched him drive away from our shared home in his new girlfriend's red SUV, I stood there in the street awash with panic, and then, relief…

Because even though I was in more pain that I’d felt since I was a small child, I realized this wasn’t about him, it was about me and my unfinished business from the past…

That divorce catapulted me onto my healing path. I dove deep into shadow work with a spiritual mentor and vowed to be single until I was fully “healed”.

I did every healing ceremony, therapy, breathwork and practice you could think of, I watched thousands of hours of relationship trainings and read dozens of books…

And then I met Ben… it felt like we’d known each other forever.

Even though we both planned to be single for a few more years, the connection between us was undeniable.

He was attentive, communicative, and present. We even started doing tantra work together and therapy just months into our relationship. It felt like a dream.

But when conflicts started to surface, both of our patterns from childhood started to take the wheel and we found ourselves in a classic ‘anxious-avoidant’ dance.

He’d pull away, sometimes for days at a time.

My relationship anxiety would kick in, and I found myself chasing him, desperate to close the distance. In my mind, I was the “conscious” one, the one doing the work, while he just needed to catch up.

Then came a moment that changed everything.

I had hit my limit with the pattern between us and was beginning to lose hope.

So during one of our arguments, convinced I was in the right, I recorded our conversation to later “show” Ben just how evolved I was.

But when I listened back the next day, I was shocked.

I heard myself backing him into a corner, making demands, not giving him a single inch to breathe or express himself.

I realized, painfully, that while I thought I wanted to work things out, I was actually trying to control him to soothe my own fears of abandonment. 

And the more I pushed, the more his avoidance would come online, causing him to shut down even further.

The relationship anxiety I thought I’d ‘healed’ was right there. I couldn’t hide from it.

In that moment, I knew that even with a willing partner like Ben, the real change had to begin within me.

And while all of the healing work I’d done over the years helped in a lot of ways, it wasn’t enough to fully rewire the deep abandonment and trust wounds embedded in my nervous system.

That was right around the time I heard about Somatic Experiencing Work.

(The truth is, I actually heard about it years before but totally ignored it because it didn’t make sense to me and I didn’t have a close relationship with the person who recommended it to me… sounded “woo-woo” and unscientific.)

But let me tell you… I wish I had done it sooner, because it COMPLETELY changed my life.

Working with my body rather than just my mind allowed me to release the deep-rooted fears driving my need to control.

For the first time, I started to feel secure in myself , open to receive the steady love Ben had been trying to offer all along.

As I learned to approach our relationship with true openness and honor Ben’s need for space, understanding it as part of his own journey of healing, something beautiful happened—Ben began moving toward me, too.

He was no longer pulling away but instead meeting me with presence and trust.

Today, Ben and I have a secure, loving partnership where conflicts are resolved in minutes instead of days. We’re raising our daughter in a space filled with trust and harmony, surrounded by a community of people who inspire us.

This lasting transformation is why I’m so passionate about this work and why every single one of my programs includes somatic work woven throughout.

For nearly a decade, I’ve guided others through similar journeys, helping them heal relationship patterns and attachment wounds and step into fulfilling relationships.

I’ve trained in dynamic attachment repatterning, inherited family trauma, and spiritual healing practices, creating transformative programs that are both practical and deeply healing.

Through my writing, Freedom from Relationship Anxiety program, and best-selling book Becoming the One, I share the tools that helped me break free and find true healing.

I know what it feels like to be stuck in that anxious-avoidant cycle, to feel broken or beyond help.

But I also know that lasting change is possible.

If you find yourself in a similar place, know that you’re not alone.

Healing is within reach, and it’s my life’s work to help you get there.